The Sweet Scent of Synchronicity

Put my sleepshirt on & head to satin pillowcase and breathed deeply. This came flooding into my mind:

You and I
are one

......................................................... Phenomenal Coincidence

which rolled into a
long standing

and

long distance

.................................................................. Friendship

and continues to roll past this
patiently nurtured

.......................................................... "Relationship"

we've become


Rolling still
into a

.......................................................................... Future

that can only be a
greater culmination of

............................................... Shared Miracles

Miracles because the
losing, finding, keeping, growing
which created what is

............................................................. Now

are nothing short of

............................................ Divine Circumstance

Love you, Babu.

Laughter Kills...

...so do it in the company of loved ones.

No joke.

The best friend and I are in LA for the week and almost had to cut the "vacay" short due to emergency circumstance.

What happened?

D'Avonna laughed herself into hyperventilation & almost died.

NO LIE.
Who knew that was even possible???

The scene: Dee & I were relaxing in our respective beds in the hotel room, watching TV, & cooling out. All of a sudden, I turn my head and Dee is standing on her bed with a crazed look of intent - this fool was about to jump from her bed onto mine.

Guess what happens next, folks...

Dee jumps, almost falls between the beds and hits my mattress so hard it moves...

This is where the laughter begins.

We were both laughing from the belly up, deep hearty guffaws & ha ha's, but then something (even funnier than the leap) was said - I am not at liberty to share that something - and the problems get going from here.

Dee got up and ambled, laughing all the way, over towards the kitchenette sink and falls to her knees with The Giggles. She and laugh even more and we are both knee, floor, mattress slapping at this point. Then Dee's laughter gets higher in its pitch and she falls over, still smiling. I took pictures during my own tee-heeing until I notice the change in DeeDee's face. Her smile has changed into a grimace and she starts weezing between each laugh.

No air is going in.

Only laughter is coming out.

BAD COMBINATION.

This is where the Mama instinct hits and I attempt to get Miss Laugh-a-lot to calm down.

"Dee, breathe...it's not funny anymore...shhhh....calm down..." This goes on for about 10 minutes until the laughter subsides. THANK KRISHNA! BEST FRIEND IS ALRIGHT!

How would I have explained to Dee's momma that she was hospitalized on vacation from laughing too much...WHILE NOT DRUNK??? (She has hyperventilated before...in her mother's presence...she was drunk and 911 was called in that instance. The result: Dee getting slapped by a large paramedic and the audacity shook her out of the whole not breathing thing...)

Moral of the story: Laugh with caution! And in the company of people who care about you and can calm your ass down when the need be.

Also...I'm a Superhero. That is all.

♫Still Mad About Getting Run Over by a Range Rover♪

I added a map, to my last post, of where I was body rocked by that no good, non-driving so and so yesterday.

Here's a zoom of where I was:


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Yes. I am bitter.

♩♪Sydney Got Run Over by a Range Rover♬

I hate Bethesda.

I got hit by a car today.

Second time I've gotten hit by a car in Bethesda. Driver wasn't paying attention AT ALL. High and mighty Bethesdanites are too good to pay attention to anything but themselves.

Here's the story: I stayed in the office late to get some extra work done. Normally, when I leave, I walk to the Metro elevator - today, I decided to walk past the Hyatt and take the steps and escalator down to the platform. BAD IDEA.

While walking past the Hyatt driveway, this fucker of a man - WHILE TRAFFIC IS COMING PAST THE DRIVEWAY - smacks my flesh and bones with his hunk of high-class metal.

Talk about "FML"!

Bad day at work, not to be outdone by a bad night leaving.

My left leg is bruised, my pants got ripped a bit, I have a few tiny scrapes, I'm ANGRY beyond anything my words can convey, but I am fine. I'm alright.

Thanks, Krishna. Thanks, Vishnu. Thanks, God, Thanks, Universe... 'ppreciate y'all!


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SO...

I just noticed I use "so" as a starter quite a bit. Hmm. I think I'll ponder that for a while.

Insomnia Has Me in Her Grip (Again)

So...

Again, I find myself unable to take my big behind to bed. (Mmm! Love that alliteration!)

It seems like sleeplessness has become the norm for me, these days. I feel like the "why" factors are innumerable, but here's an attempt at listing them:

• I am stressed - TO THE MAX (yes, I just brought that back)
• I've lost lots of close people (family & friends) in a very short period of time
• I'm out of shape (and gained more than 20 lbs in less than 5 months); I'm not fat, but I feel like it
  
• Work has been pretty stressful, lately
• I need to find a new place to live
• I can't ever turn my brain off. EVER.
• I have a few health issues and have been stressing about finding a doctor I can easily get to (metro) and who will take my insurance
• I worry about my grandmother, nonstop
• I worry about my friends
  
• I worry about everybody and everything
• My family is killing my brain cells with everything they've got
  
• I'm thinking of getting a second job
• I'm worried about myself
• I'm thinking about moving away
  
• I don't know where I want to move away to
  
• AHHHHHHH!
• SO MANY THINGS!

Yeah. So. Those are just a few things weighing my mind down and disallowing elevation to the sleep plane, for which I have such a concupiscence (at this point, I want sleep so bad it's almost that type of sexual longing).

It's 2:34 (I just made a wish!) and I'm listening to Billy Joel's "Zanzibar," trying to figure out how to fix myself.

Anywho, here's a writing I just rediscovered. I wrote this piece a while back and every time I read it, it makes me feel so light and childish in all the best ways.

I used to think I was magical.

I talked to thunderstorms
And they always responded
The thunder was their speech
Audacious and wild
Sometimes subdued in response
The lightning was their
Change of emotion
I tasted the rain and
The storms became
A part of me
We were one
And we understood each-other

When I closed my eyes I saw
Images flying,
Babies smiling and people dying
Colorful stars whizzed by
Hearts and holes
Everything and nothing--
The whole world was behind my eyelids

Everything I dreamed came true
It would happen the next day
Or maybe the next week
I never knew how soon
But it always happened
Exactly as I had dreamt

I had a recurring late night visitor
In the summer
He was a lion and I wasn’t scared
Every night at midnight
He walked into my room
And sat at the foot of my bed
I knew he was my friend the first time we met
Sometimes we just sat and stared
We talked with our eyes
He was beautiful and, once,
He let me touch him
I put my hand on his nose first
It was special
I felt his breath on my fingertips
I swore he was real
(I still do)
He nuzzled my hand under his head
And I rubbed his mane
I put my lips on his forehead
I felt love and protection spread through my body
Like blood, pumping through my veins
When I kissed him
The last night I saw him
He brought his mate to meet me
And his cubs
And I loved them too
And I could feel their love for me
They were another family that I,
Somehow,
Belonged to

I spoke to Mother Earth
and she spoke back to me
I hugged lonely trees and
Rolled down happy hills
Gave mud relaxing massages
And soared with falling leaves
Her dirtied streams cried to me
And I felt their pains
We were close
There was a mutual trust between us
I revered her wisdom
And was awed at her beauty

I went on adventures with my books
I did chores with Hercules
Walked tightropes with Pippi
Explored and wondered “why?” with George
Danced with Danny the dinosaur
And got locked in a department store with Corduroy
I was a part of every story
And every story became a part of me

I had meaningful conversations with the stars
Their twinkles were intonations
They told me age-old secrets
Of men and women
And gods and goddesses
They gossiped about the world
And giggled about the universe

The animals were my friends
They used to come to me
For marital advice or game play
They vented about their spouses
And I told them what I observed
We played tag and hide-and-seek
And hung out watching the clouds go by
I sang with the birds
And tickled caterpillars
We had so much fun
Every day

I used to think I was magical
He knows that I still am...

I don't know that I'll sleep, but I am shutting the laptop down. Peace...save me some.

I miss my Lion.

Trying to overcome the block

So, I've been struggling with writer's block for more than a year now. What used to come with a natural ease is now a great deal of strain and resulting brain farts. What can I say? I'm working on it! I had the bright idea of creating a blog to combat the block and log my attempts at recapturing the "flow" during bits of free time...

See the connection?

Musings in the meantime?

I'm so clever.

Anywho - at the moment, I've got a bit of insomnia to make use of and that is precisely what I plan to do:

She sat in the middle of them all. Alone, but surrounded.

The room was dense with feelings and thoughts. Palpable intangibles floating over bodies, bouncing off walls, trapped in corners and flung against every surface. Grown within each person - in the room where she was center of it all - thoughts and feelings were spilling out of everyone, running through minds and then through others, bouncing off walls, tortured and dying, nurtured and abandoned. Pick me! Hear me! Feel me!

So much noise in a room of uncomfortable quiet. The shushes were shushed, the seats were taken, filled, and postures fixed. Everyone waits; expecting without knowing what is to come.

She moves. Words are spoken under breath: "Finally! I was ready to get the hell out of here." Words uttered. But not from her mouth. As if on the cue of their impatience: elbows off knees, head rising from it's bowed state, she opens her eyes and takes in the faces of her audience.

And now I'm back to square one and stuck again. At least it's something, right?

Last word before trying to call it a night:

I really hate the frustration which comes with knowing you have something to say, but not being able to get it out. An interesting meeting this morning offers this germane quote to describe the feeling:
"When you don't indulge your passion - that thing you love and wish you were doing, knowing that you should do it - it eats away at you. You have to just do it! Do what makes you happy! Do what you know you're meant to!"

Thanks, Carl. It was wonderful meeting you. :-)